Embracing your Weirdness

There’s this shop in the street where I work which always has an ‘A’ board up outside it with different sayings chalked up every day. Yesterdays was…

I’m going to America!!! From the beginning of June I’ll be working in a Scout Camp in Illinois for two months!!

But my god, its so much to think about – its unbelievable!

I am really excited about this opportunity though – its probably the only time in my life where I’ll have no major financial commitments, a job that I can escape quite easily, and the time to do spare.

Its funny how it all came about though – James recommended I do this last year – I applied and forgot about it all for a while, but then I had a rubbish day at work and thought “What the Hell – Why Not?!”

So here I am, less than a month away from the trip of a lifetime!

Instructions for giving a pill to a cat… (origin unknown)

1. Pick up a cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of your cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor anc cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrive cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

5. Retrieve pill from Goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emmitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand whilst forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7. Retreive cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and put to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw; force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pills are not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

I just realised that I do have a really great life!

Off to enjoy the weekend.

I don’t want to be bored everyday and I really don’t want the hassle of being in an office!

On the plus side, having gone running first thing this morning I then went swimming.

Did run out of steam a bit by about 3:30!!!

I think I’m going to crawl into bed soon.

And tomorrow will be much the same as today – only it will be so much busier.

As Tony the Tiger would say…. thats G-R-R- EAT!

There is no-one around who I can say this to so…

I got up this morning and went running. I didn’t stop at all and it was great!

and now I’m off swimming!

Now all I wish is that there was someone around who I could tell.

Figures.

The Apprentice just keeps getting better and better. Not in terms of the teams’ performance but because there is so much to learn from their mistakes!

Its been a very interesting few weeks. I have come to terms with a lot of my feelings and I think I’m starting to make sense of the world in my own way.

But I’ve had quite a lot of fun along the way. I’ve done tonnes of Scout stuff, applied to an International Scout Camp, helped at a half marathon, and really got stuck into every new thing I’ve tried.

And then got told I was basically incompetent at my job! Lets just say it helped me make my mind up about a lot of things. I came to the conclusion that I am bored and need to go and do something different with my life.

Its definalty spurred me on to get ready for this Army selection in a few weeks, and pretty much made the decision to apply for the international camp. It may just have been a positive experience, even though it didn’t feel that way at the time.

I think I forgot for a while that there is a positive side to every situation…. even if it is not immediatly apparant.

Anyway, I think I’m back to my old self now.

I feel really low at the moment and I don’t know why. I also can’t think of any reason why I would be?

I’ve got a great guy (who’s not too well at the moment – but I know he’s recovering so thats not an issue)

I think I’m just lonely. I need some company that isn’t my work, colleagues, not my family, and will just give me ha hug and tell me that everything is going to be ok.

Even if I don’t know what is wrong.

I know that Jeremy is one of these people who doesn’t like to be fussed over when ill, but to be honest, I feel so bloddy selfich just for wanting to see him, if only for just five minutes, that its just unbearable. And feel so damn useless its unbeleivable. But damn it I am a person too. Aren’t realtionships about compromise?

Why am I such a crap girlfriend? why doesn;t he want me? what am idoing wrong? why do I love him so much? Does he want me? Will he be himslef again soon. I miss my Jeremy. I want everything back to normal.

Most of all, I want him to be happy, and If that is something I can do that would be wonderful.

God, I sound bloody awful here don’t I!?

I just feel like I’m getting in the way of his life, abut I daren;t say anything in case he agrees and doesnt want me. what can I do.

That bastard ex has screwed me up for life”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

… roadworks, and lots of them!

Last night I drove through four differnt council authority areas. There were do many roadworks, closed roads, and signs warning of roadworks and road closures. There are a multitude of new speed limits and road crossings.

Its the same every year, in so many cases, council budgets have to be used up before the end of the tax year, causing no end of chaos in